What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?

But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!

¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!

Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.

Have you ever dealt with a Christian narcissist?

Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.

Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.

Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!

What is the reason behind some people referring to themselves as "nice guys" instead of simply being nice?

Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!

After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.

I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.

Why do you suck men's dicks?

Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …

Shameless vixen! Trollop!

Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.

Are democrats eating crow?

At least until the peyote kicks in ...

Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)

Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority

Why do good-looking men date homely women?

In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …

In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …

“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”

Why does Nickelback, a popular Canadian alternative-rock band, receive so much hate? Is it because they are not considered "edgy" by some people?

Make Nazis afraid again!

Marijuana makes Jesus cry!

Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.

I see ugly guys dating gorgeous, "hot" women all the time. I, too, am not very attractive but I'm not doing well with the ladies. What's their secret?

Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?

TEXT:

Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.

What thing happened to you as a child that you haven’t let go of to this day?

Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.

And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...

Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!

What are your controversial and hot takes on Naruto?

Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!

Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!

And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.

How do I explain to my husband that my 19-year-old son has accidentally gotten me pregnant?

Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.

I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.

Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.

Missouri governor signs Chiefs, Royals stadium bill - NBC Sports

Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.